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Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around.../...Comes Around Interlude |
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I was never any good with introductions, well more so just talking about myself. I was always that person that slipped into their chair and tried to hide from the world until I was called on. I would become a nervous wreck, start stuttering, and mess up my name even. I had such anxiety over the whole ordeal. Not so much just seeing people’s eyes on me, but fear of being boring. People have much more interesting lives than my own. Well, when I was a child, high school time. Then when all the secret lives of the friends and family I care about had come out in the open it suddenly turned into a whirlwind of interesting things, and life journeys that I can saw now my life is finally interesting, even if it took forty years to get there.
I guess I could start at the beginning, where my life began, right? I was born here in Crocker Park July 16th 1969 to a woman. I never knew her name; I don’t know anything about her. For the first three days I was taken care of by her, and she named be big head. So for the first three days of my life I was addressed to as big head. Nice, I do kind of have a big head, but that it beyond the point. She knew she couldn’t take care of me, so she found a very nice loving family to take care of me. Anna and Jacob the two I call mother and father, and I always will. They gave me an actual name, Logan. They moved me out to New Mexico and they began their own life with a new child. They chose to not tell me, and well damn… I looked enough like Dad to pass for his child, so it worked out in their favor. Though the couple never thought they could have children. Until mom went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well, guess what? She was with child. Awesome, now I have a little brother that is seven months younger than me, but I never questioned that. Thankfully for their impatient behavior I got a great life and a very loving family, and I thank them for that every day.
There really isn’t much to touch on with my childhood. It was good, very loving and just lively. We had amazing Christmases with a lot of toys and presents, nothing really life changing happened. I have no sob stories of a bad life or anything traumatic happening to me. I was just a normal happy child that loved to get dirty, ride my bike, and play sports. Everyday normal things, I was never sick with anything crazy, had the flu almost every year, chicken pox, poison ivy. All of that normal stuff, like I said, nothing to really talk about. Though, high school was a different story. I became a lot taller, a lot faster than most kids in my class, thankfully some of them caught up, but still nothing very interesting at the time.
Now this is where it gets interesting. My sophomore year of high school I became insanely sick. Nobody knows why and they couldn’t figure it out. My kidneys were shutting down, and guess what; my adoptive family couldn’t help me. This is where I found out I was adopted, in the worst possible way. The doctor asked if they could contact my biological family to see if any of them were a match. Talk about awkward. They did, and my own mother was a match, and she was selfless enough to give me a kidney. She never spoke, never mentioned her name. Never asked mine. She came to New Mexico, did what she had to do and left when she was able to. It made me happy to know that she did the things she did because she loved me enough to do what she had to do to give me the most normal and happy life I could have in my life. This was honestly the most traumatic thing that happened in my life, I swear. I still wish I would have just said two words, thank you.
After that whole ordeal I repeated my sophomore year and could never get the news out of my head. I wanted to know everything about them, what they were doing, why they gave me up. I never got any of those answers for the whole reasoning that my parents didn’t know other than where she lived when I was born. I decided to go to college in my ‘hometown’ just to see what I could find out for myself. I got accepted to Jackson University and moved out there when I was eighteen. I looked her up and drove past her house every day just to see if I could gather enough courage to go up there and just tell her thank you. Instead I decided to write a letter. I added a witty little thank you card. She wrote me back telling me that she knew I was thankful, and she knew I was driving past her house every day. She then proceeded to tell me that she’s been watching me from afar since she works at the college. She told me I was a lot like my father, and I looked just like him. I even acted like him, from what she remembers. She also told me that if I ever wanted to talk and become friends all I had to do was come to her.
I did and I found out things I didn’t want to know, and things I did want to know. She explained why she put me up for adoption, and she also explained that I was produced from some not so happy circumstances. She told me about the situations and what had happened which made me angry, sick, confused, and I left with a whole new outlook on life. Though, I couldn’t stay mad at her, I know why she did everything she did. She invited me over for dinners with the family, with just looking at me they knew exactly who I was. It was awkward to have a family just talk to you like you have been there the whole eighteen years of your life, but at the same time accepted it.
After that my biological family kind of became my second family. Until I found out that the basis of what the woman had told me was merely a lie, I walked away and decided it was the best to not get involved in things I know nothing about. I had a loving family so why would I be selfish enough to want two. One of them I didn’t even know until I was an adult. It doesn’t matter anymore. I walked away before I got thrown into the chaotic mess of what they call a family. It made me happy that I wasn’t a part of that growing up.
I met the love of my life in college, and it thankfully stopped my consideration of quitting college, Missy Bateman. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I went after her, I succeeded and we went the rest of our college life happy as can be. I married her in the summer of 1992 right before we graduated college. We welcomed my first baby girl, and the one of the only girls I know I will love for the rest of my life, Madeline. She was the most beautiful child ever. She looked just like her mother. We weren’t ready for children yet, at all. We messed up like any normal parents; as well it strained our marriage, so bad. We tried for five years to fix it, and it didn’t work having one more child, Hannah. They stayed together for two more years before I woke up to a letter letting me know that she was sorry and she couldn’t live like that. I should have always known she was a runner.
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